


Difficult, Morose Darling

by mercheshire



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/M, Gen, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercheshire/pseuds/mercheshire
Summary: Darling, even in my dreams, I can't make you love me. It is always easier to love someone when they are looking away.
Relationships: Eriol Hiiragizawa/Daidouji Tomoyo, Kinomoto Sakura/Li Syaoran, Li Meiling/Touya Kinomoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just writing these to take my stress off work. They're snippets of my imagination, hopefully they form a wonderful story. Archive Warnings and Ratings might go up as I add more chapters. Please read and review! Arigatou! :)

A lady with long, thick, purplish black hair frowned at the dirt that landed atop her best friend’s plate of blueberry muffins. The displeasure in her face was so vicious, Syaoran Li, the one at fault, should be running for his life. Instead, he just smirked at them. “Sumimasen,” he worded coolly. “I didn’t see you there.”

Tomoyo Daidouji and the most noble ladies of Tomoeda High were having a picnic in Kenroku garden - the city’s topnotch, most preserved paradise. Why Syaoran Li, the school’s A-list heartthrob, brought his soccer ball to the said sanctuary was beyond them, let alone have it fly all the way to their red and white checkered blanket. She didn’t care about wasted butter, sugar, and flour. Her concern regarded the fact that Sakura Kinomoto, her closest confidant since they were ten years old, worked all morning for those pastries.

Tomoyo had the face of an angel, and the soul of the devil. When she stared into Syaoran’s eyes, along with the rest of her exquisitely-looking allies, they all appeared as if they were waiting for him to apologize. A small smile began to creep into his lips as his own amber orbs landed on the face that was about to cry - Sakura Kinomoto’s emerald eyed gaze wasn’t demanding anything much, really, but it was clear that she was truly upset. Almost, Syaoran was almost sorry.

“Ja,” he uttered after he picked up his ball, “if you aren’t going to say anything, then I’m off.” A huge grin dallied in his mouth before he jogged back to his playmates, leaving five girls angered.

While Sakura picked up the remains of the baked goods, her long auburn hair cloaked the mixture of annoyance and dismay on her face. Tomoyo was silent while Meiling Li apologized on her cousin’s behalf. “I should ask his mother to ship him back to Hong Kong, really.” If there was anything more powerful than Syaoran, it’s the mothership. “And disappoint a thousand girls, how sorrowful,” Chiharu Mihara, a cute girl with brown hair, sarcastically remarked as she focused on the jocks in a far off distance. While seated primly on the blanket, she sipped her tea, and added, “Not only his wealth and status provided him power, it’s also the collective of doltish fangirls kissing the ground he walks on that makes him untouchable.”

Syaoran knew the ladies would be talking about him. He could feel their heavy glares at the back of his head. With all the love and hate he received throughout the years, he was used to it all. As he bounced the ball on top of his right knee, he slightly turned his body to catch the sight of them. Surprisingly, Sakura was laughing with her friends when he expected her to break down and weep. He narrowed his eyes at her and frowned to himself. There was something about her cheerfulness that irked him. Aside from her pretty face, she was rumored to be quite athletic, but other than that, she had nothing else. No high-status, no exceptional grades, no boyfriend, nothing. Why though, did she seem generally more blessed?

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Professor Fujitaka Kinomoto was holding an informal class in one of the tables in a hotel restaurant. College students who love to learn stories about his excavations often join him for dinner. Every time this happened, Touya Kinomoto knew he’d be working late because he was employed part-time in said establishment - a 5-star hotel near the tourist spots of the city. Sometimes, his girlfriend and friends were part of the group.

In another table sat Tomoyo, Sakura, and Meiling. After parting with Chiharu and Naoko, the black haired beauty thought it was fitting that she treat them to dinner - well, to be honest, the favor was only for Sakura’s sake but almost anything about her included Tomoyo so she might as well invite her, too. The gesture stood as an apology on account of his cousin’s ill manners this afternoon. Tomoyo had high standards for everything. They knew she’d prefer the boy to atone for his misbehavior himself, but definitely, no one expected that to happen. On top of that, she’s greatly protective of Sakura, and that fact didn’t help Meiling feel at all comfortable.

After their steak dinner, the two best friends began to leave. Since Meiling had to wait for her boyfriend, she saw it fit to stay behind. “Thanks for dinner. You really didn’t have to, but I appreciate that you did! I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” Sakura said her sweet gratitude before she ran to her father and brother to bid them adieu. Soon enough, after Meiling found herself waving them goodbye and sitting back in her chair, her mobile phone beeped… only to entail that a message came that her boyfriend would arrive later than planned.

Two hours passed and the boy was still a no show, abandoning her to no other choice but to watch Professor Fujitaka’s students leave one by one. They all seemed average college students except for a single soul who lingered by the entrance - a lady in deep burgundy hair was approached by Touya just as everyone had left. She had her back on Meiling so she couldn’t exactly recognize her face. Excitedly, she tipped her toes to reach the boy’s height, and shamelessly pressed her lips on his. Astonished, Meiling looked away, embarrassed at the sight of PDA. However, her curiosity forced her to steal another glance - and when she peeked, Touya’s dark agate eyes were fixated on Meiling’s garnet orbs.

Bewildered and troubled, she steadied her sight on her mobile phone and pretended to text. She had already sent her boyfriend eleven messages, it felt futile to send another one. She wasn’t certain on how long she had her head bowed but when she raised it again, the restaurant was completely empty except for one tall raven haired male. He was standing next to her table, two of his fingers’ knuckles happened to knock on the wooden surface. “Closing time,” he stated two flavorless words. “But,” her brows jumped, anguish evident in her face. “My boyfriend isn’t here yet!” Touya rolled his eyes before he averted his gaze. “Not my problem,” was all he said before he stepped off and disappeared into the kitchen.


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not friends, not enemies. Just some strangers with some memories.

She was standing in the corridor adjacent to the campus garden when Syaoran Li saw her. Sakura Kinomoto, 5 foot 3, was anxious in front of a boy. Her brows troubled, her smile shaking. She was obviously nervous. Shyly taking the bouquet of flowers from a fellow student, she wasn’t certain what else to say rather than “Thank you.”

Syaoran wanted to laugh at what he was watching. Stopping beside the garden fountain, he didn’t have the decency to hide the fact that he was spying, not even the evidence of mockery in his face. It didn’t take long before the scene was completed, and it ended badly with the nameless boy walking away awkwardly. He left the lady still clutching the flowers, perhaps frozen to the spot, unsure how to accept or reject a confession. It’s likely that she expressed neither.

The chestnut haired male jogged over to the girl, not an ounce of hesitancy visible in his actions. When he stopped in front of Sakura, a smirk was already playing in his lips. “Is this your first time?” his tone was teasing. The miss watched him rest his back on the pillar close to them, her emerald orbs scanned his ambers, as if she was still trying to recognize who he was. To Syaoran, that was sort of an insult. He was guaranteed that pretty much everyone on campus knew who he was. “Yes,” she finally answered.

Syaoran felt bitter about her answer - it was too short! For some reason, he wanted to hear more from her, maybe see her try to make conversation with him! “You know,” he began again, cooler this time. “If it were me, I wouldn’t give you flowers. Possibly, I’d surprise you with a date instead!” A giggle escaped from her lips. He felt victorious. Sakura had her hand delicately covering her mouth, and for the second time, he made a mental note that she was legit beautiful. No wonder some scum got her a generic bouquet.

“Good thing it wasn’t you, was it?” Syaroan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she just say she felt relieved that it wasn’t him who was asking her out!? “W-what!?” Again, he couldn’t understand why he was stuttering, even momentarily. His back parted from the pillar, and he took one step closer to her. “Say that again?” He had his thick eyebrows crumpled, his tongue on its way to grunt.

“Oooooh~” she cooed happily. “You heard me,” she giggled again, it sounded like wedding bells on a Sunday morning. Sakura placed the flowers closer to her face, and she gently smelled the petals. Seconds later, she began to walk off, and merrily, too. “Ja,” she uttered with a short wave of her right hand. “By the way, you still haven’t apologized for last time, Li-kun. It’s a shame Meiling always has to clean up after you.” Turning, she finished, “See you around.”

Syaoran stood there, a bit dumbfounded. It was great that none of the jocks were around or else they would be making fun of how an average high schooler bested him. He watched her walk off, the edge of her skirt bounced as she skipped away. With his right index finger, he scratched a part of his cheek, wondering… wondering…

What the fuck did just happen!?

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

It was quarter past 4 o’clock in the afternoon and half of Tomoeda High’s student body was found dallying in the parking lot. Teens and their raging hormones were all over the place. Male jocks would argue and fight, female cheerleaders were dancing and jumping nonstop. There was a ton of energy in such massive space.

Syaoran Li and the soccer team were hanging out by Eriol Hiiragizawa’s elegant black Range Rover, talking about nothing more important than sports and wheels. On the other side, somewhat nearer the school gates, was Tomoyo Daidouji’s band of prim and proper ladies. Said miss had the most elegant camcorder at hand and she was joyfully filming Sakura and her new flowers.

“How cute,” she said. “What’s the name of the boy who gave it to you?” The woman with purplish black hair always had the habit of filming her best friend. If there was a collection of videos of Sakura’s memorable moments, it would probably be in her library. “Ano…” Sakura grinned timidly in front of the lens. “I don’t remember,” and then she placed her palm at the back of her head and chuckled nervously.

“How strange, Sakura-chan,” Meiling commented dryly. She was only half paying attention to the conversation. She, herself, was busy flirting with her boyfriend. Said boy graduated last year, and wasn’t in the rush to get to college. He said he would take the year off, like those rich European boys. Should the Li clan take wind of this relationship, they would surely haul Meiling’s ass back to Hong Kong in a jiffy. A human who wasn’t ambitious enough shouldn’t be attached to any Li. The Lis simply do not date the kind.

“I remember his face though! I’ll point him to you if ever we pass him by!” Sakura optimistically exclaimed. She was about to say something more but she caught sight of her brother arriving by the school gates. Touya’s presence alerted half of the teens. He was fairly popular when he was a senior even if he was rarely seen. He was the ice king - no one could go near him, let alone date him. He was the unsolvable enigma. When he graduated, the people who flocked over him simply, miserably moved on - after all, there was nothing left to do. Their love letters were left unanswered. Little did they know, they were unread as well.

Touya was eying the population. From one kid to another, he was glaring at each scumbag who was looking at his sister. Ever protective, he dreaded the day Sakura would start dating. He never once expressed this matter to her, but everyone around them could feel the barrier.

Syaoran was looking at the raven haired man, his gaze bored. He was wondering what’s so special about this dude. Nothing about him screamed status or power. It wasn’t only then did he realize that Sakura was approaching him. They’re siblings! What a revelation! Years in high school, this was the first time he connected the dots - right in the middle of their graduating year! Right in that minute, he imagined knocking on Sakura’s front door and taking her to their graduation party - it would be thrilling to see Touya lose his mind.

Touya felt the rivalry gaze of another. The hunch made him ask his sister a question as soon as she stopped in front of him, “Are you seeing anyone?” His eyes, then, landed on the flowers she held. He scrutinized it, and even more so when she answered, “No. I am not dating anyone, oniichan.” Huh, he thought, she better not be lying.

“Anyway, Dad found something in his excavations. We need to attend his celebratory dinner.” Touya explained, needless however, because his sister already knew. Before they started to stride off the campus property, Sakura waved goodbye to her friends. Tomoyo waved back with a camcorder, and Meiling… Meiling was busy kissing her boyfriend. When she sensed Touya and Sakura watching her from afar, she took her lips off the boy and was left astounded.

While she politely waved back at Sakura, she was obviously annoyed at how her brother stared at her. To her, he had the aura of someone judging her. Not to mention, he carried that awful expression on his face… that villainous smirk of his.


	3. Droplets of Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful. Crushingly so. You look like the rest of my life.

Tomoyo Daidouji wasn’t exactly sure why they were all in Fukuroi, Shizuoka aside from the fact that they were doing Meiling Li a favor. The five girls weren’t fans of Tomoeda High’s Soccer Team, they had no reason to go all the way just for their championship game in a faraway city. Ever since Sakura Kinomoto quit the Cheerleading Team, there was almost no occasion to spend time for high school sports. They’re graduating this year, it’s best to concentrate on their academics!

“It’s uncle’s order that I record Syaoran’s game, guys,” Meiling explained for the second time that day. None of the ladies complained why all of them needed to come along, they just assumed they would have a good time nonetheless. “That’s okay, Meiling-chan,” Sakura placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s always nice to get out of Tomoeda and see the rest of the country.” She has always been very considerate if not smart.

“Thanks, Sakura-chan,” Meiling smiled, and her apologetic tone was then directed to Tomoyo. “I am so sorry you had to come, Tomo.” The woman with long thick purplish black hair simply exhibited a polite smile. Syaroan’s teammate, Eriol Hiiragizawa, was an ex-boyfriend. If there was one person in Tomoeda High who couldn’t wait to get to college fast enough, it was Tomoyo. Seeing Eriol in the cafeteria, the hallways, the library, the park, even in the principal’s office - she was tired of them all. She wanted to move on… and swiftly!

Not much knew why they broke up. A day just came where they didn’t see the two together anymore, and she stopped talking about him completely. She didn’t even look his way whenever he passed by, the same way he didn’t. They just simply… stopped being existent to one another. The ladies felt a part of her died, because since then, she smiled less.

There was still an hour to go before the game started, so the five lassies settled at a nice cafe outside Stadium Ecopa. The place was so modern, and the quiet was so comfortable - like only high class people entered the vicinity. There were no children running around, no noisy teens, no chattering old women. The place easily served professionals. Tomoyo felt right at home.

Through the glass walls, they could see Syaoran and his teammates in their sporty jackets. Each held a drink in their hands as they strode in the sidewalk, laughing rowdily. Meiling didn’t feel the need to get up and greet him. She was only there to film his game, nothing more. No need to be friendly. Syaoran has been tough to handle these past few years, she had plainly grown tired of his boyish antics.

A group of locals accidentally bumped into Eriol, causing his drink to spill on his shirt. “Oi!” However, Syaoran was the first one to bark.

The strangers seemed older, bigger, stronger. Not one of these traits intimidated the Soccer Captain. Tonight is their game, their championship, nothing should go wrong. “Let it go, Syao. It’s fine,” Eriol reasoned with him while he threw his cup into the nearby bin. Whatever they said after, it made the jock’s good intentions evaporate in the wind. “SYAORAN!” Half a minute Eriol was just tending to his garbage, and his friend was already on a roll - making garbage out of the faces of the locals. He wasn’t fighting defensively so the rest of the boys hurried to the center of the commotion. The chestnut haired teen jumped on a street bench then landed a kick on his enemy’s broad back; his amber eyes simmering with rage. The force made the huge guy fall forward. If he were lighter, he would have flown off.

The fight ended when the rest of the team held Syaoran back. The strange thugs wouldn’t have backed off if they didn’t see a cop car pass by. “Let’s cool off, huh!?” Eriol exclaimed, he watched Syaoran intently, as though trying to warn him with his gaze. He, then, directed the rest of the boys towards the stadium. “It’s not wise to be so agitated before the game.” He had always been the voice of reason.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The Soccer tournament went by in a blur. What was expected to be exciting turned out to be quite the opposite. Nonetheless, all girls, except Tomoyo, were cheering for the Tomoeda boys. Players went toe-to-toe against one another in a ball combat, fighting for the honor of impressing the audience on who gets to be the first to score. Japanese teens, tall and chiseled, all engaged in a sweaty dance of athletics. All the while, there was nothing Tomoyo wanted more than to push through the crowd to buy more fruit skewers.

Sakura has seen Syaoran play once before, when she was still in the cheerleading squad. She didn’t keep tabs on his skills but she knew he didn’t play like this - like a semi-crippled dude. Yes, she saw the brawl that went down an hour ago. All of them watched it. Unless he’s sick, he must have been injured during the fight. It was heartbreaking that the entire team was dependent on his proficiency - because there was no one to drive the ball into the goal. Their opponents were too fast, too savvy. Syaoran could have taken them on… if only he didn’t act as if he was handicapped.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

It was raining hard in Tomoeda that evening, as if the skies were also crying for the Soccer Team’s loss.

As much as Tomoyo was concerned, everyone had already gone home. With an umbrella at hand, she quietly stood on the steps of their campus building as she patiently waited for her chauffeur to arrive. On her mind, she was counting the seconds until she heard voices approaching behind her… familiar ones…

“Sure, I’ll see you on Monday,” Eriol’s tone made the woman freeze on her spot. All her willingness to endure the long wait for the driver dispersed instantly. She panicked in silence, hoping he wouldn’t see her. If he did, hopefully he would just run straight to his car and leave. “Tomoyo?”

Well, fuck. Of course, he didn’t.

She took a deep breath as she watched Eriol’s teammate run in the rain. He must have been the one he was talking to before. After exhaling quickly, she mustered enough courage and fabricated a smile before she turned to face him. “Hiiragizawa-san,” she greeted him, her hand tightening on the handle of her umbrella. Her face angelic, her beam too disguised.

Eriol wanted to sigh in defeat. Of course she was still mad at him. How could she not? A sweet, kind person such as her deserved more. As per the way she referred to him, they were back to formal relations, as if they never talked nor kissed before. Plus, that friendliness on her face - a smile that didn’t belong to her. After a minute of silence, he offered, “Is Kou-san late? I can give you a ride home if yo-”

“Yes, he’s late. That’s kind of you, but no, thank you.” She cut him off.

His eyes grew wide. To be treated with such coldness, he had to admit, it stung. He breathed softly, and calmed himself. “Of course,” he nodded at her, showing that he understood her. He wasn’t asking to be friends anyway, he discerned that he didn’t deserve that. If there’s anything he could give her, it would probably be space - and a lot of that, to be precise.

Meanwhile, Sakura was just leaving a convenience store. Her father offered to pick her up, but she politely refused. She didn’t want to trouble him and she was old enough to walk home. Plus, she enjoyed the rain! Not once has she ever minded drops on her shoulders or mud on the soles of her shoes. They were harmless, after all.

Once she reached the bus stop, she quickly noticed that it was packed with people. Most of them didn’t have umbrellas with them - figured why they’re squeezing themselves under the shed, afraid to get wet. It’s fine, she thought. Her mighty umbrella would keep her dry. She can just wait beside the shed, it’s no big deal.

What she noticed next was a male teenager standing alone beside the lamp post closest to the bus stop. Chestnut hair, tall and chiseled build, “Li-kun?” Inaudibly, she approached the boy.

The street was quite dark. The only luminescence that brightened up the place were the street lights, the headlights of the passing vehicles, and the bulbs from the stores in the area. The jock was soaked wet so she covered his head with her umbrella. That was the moment he realized he wasn’t alone. He opened his eyes and revealed misery. The smirking boy who never passed the chance to gloat was nowhere to be found. Instead, what was there was a brooding one, a loser, one who had nothing to brag about. “What’s the matter?” she asked, even if she had an inkling why he appeared so wretched. “You can guess,” he answered dismissively, and looked away.

If she wasn’t aware of his height before, she was now. She had to slightly tip her toes just so she could carefully put a temporary roof atop his head. Her arm was starting to get weary. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?” She continued earnestly. It’s just a game. Unless Syaoran is pining to be a professional soccer player in the future, what went down today wouldn’t matter in months. “You wouldn’t know how it feels,” his response was quite rude considering that she was trying to comfort him - something he didn’t observe nor cared about.

Sakura disagreed. She was no stranger to losing in competitions. Whether they be games, grades, or attention of loved ones, being defeated has always been a bitter pill to swallow. “You’re right.” By all means, she had no intention to argue with him. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to make logic of what came to pass. “You’re wasting time here,” was all he ended up saying. He left his teammates early so he could postpone the conversations they’d obviously have, hanging out with a dumb chick on the sidewalk was just as bad.

“What happened there, though? I’ve seen you play before, you didn’t -” “I sprained my ankle.” He cut her off. Syaroan wasn’t interested in hearing how good he used to play. He’s pretty sure he’s still the mighty wolf of the field, just not today. He wasn’t ready to talk about it in past tense. Not yet. 

“Because of the fight?” Her emerald orbs were gazing up at his. They had to be only inches apart in order to share the umbrella effectively. Examining her, he was beginning to get harried about her terrifying sincerity. “You saw that?” He only received a nod as a response. “Yeah. Huge ass dude had a brick for a spine. I still can’t figure out how I kicked him wrong. I mean, I hit with my feet everyday.”

Syaoran took the umbrella from her hand. He can feel her arm shaking. They have probably been talking for quite a while now. She laughed nervously when he assumed his turn to put a cover above her head. “Heh, if you have a sprain, then shouldn’t you tend to it? Put a compress?” It’s true what she said. His foot has been fucking burning for the past hour, but his humiliation and fury burned hotter. He couldn’t feel most of the pain while he was in the middle of nursing his ego - and honestly, he couldn’t tell when it would heal. He didn’t answer her, though. He just effortlessly stared into her eyes - and Sakura has been extra flustered because of that. Seriously, isn’t that a little awkward?

“Kinomoto,” he called her softly. “Yeah?” she replied tensely, uneasily. There was a long silence before he spoke again, Sakura was already losing things to gaze into. She didn’t want to meet his eyes. He kind of made her anxious. “Your bus is here.” With those four words, she jumped on her toes and quickly turned to the bus stop. More people had come and they were all getting on! If she doesn’t hurry, there’d be no seat for her!

“Li-kun, I have to g-” Just before she could take a single step and run, his strong hand grabbed onto her elbow and forced her to stay put. Disconcerted, her emerald eyes widened in surprise. Her mouth left open as she stared at his face, asking what he was doing. Before she could utter a word, he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her upwards, closer to his face. He veiled them from others’ view by using the umbrella as a shield, and then his lips crashed down on hers.

She was impassive but soft. Clueless but gentle. Syaoran could feel there was something inside his stomach, fluttering. Only when a hint of saltiness in their joint mouths was tasted did he stop kissing her.

A tear had evidently trickled down from one of her eyes. Sakura’s expression was a mixture of a lot of things, yet not one of them expressed gratitude nor pleasure. With a wide gaze, she kept digging into his amber pools, in search of answers for what just transpired.

This wasn’t what Syaoran expected. This never happened before.

When another bus arrived, Sakura made sure he wouldn’t be able to stop her from running off. He didn’t try, anyway. He did not feel absolutely stupid, but somewhere close to that. She dashed towards the vehicle, not bothering to grab her umbrella back.

From his lamp post, Syaoran saw that she found her seat by the window inside the bus. He watched it drive off, his sight not leaving her. She simply looked back at him with an expression he couldn’t figure out what. She seemed worried and sad, possibly a tiny bit afraid, too.

Sakura, finally alone, and out of Syaoran’s view, placed her fingertips atop her lips. This time, she didn’t stop her tears from overflowing from her eyes. This time, she just let them fall. Syaoran’s a bastard… he stole her first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I am just writing these to take my stress off work. They're snippets of my imagination, hopefully they form a wonderful story. Archive Warnings and Ratings might go up as I add more chapters. Please read and review! Arigatou! :)


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